I know it said "Love nature and long romantic walks" in the personal ad, but did i forget to mention my passion for money?

"He's really really old, just hang in there...focus...just another year and he'll might be dead.

It doesn't matter how disappointed you are, never and I'll repeat never threaten an Italian man holding a baby.

Welcome home Honey, i can carry you over the threshold or just throw you threw the window...

When a tiny spot of custard on your tie, turns your wife in to a angry female Hitler, you just know, that the romantic restaurant you picked for your wedding anniversary just didn't cut it.

When you are THIS fucking excited to go home to see your rich husband and love child, you know that somewhere along the line, it went terribly, terribly wrong . No credit cards or joint bank account here, but hey, at least it contributed to that perfect Williamsburg hipster or homeless look. God only hopes you live in Brooklyn.

Oh yeah, i recognize this look...the no-food, no-money loser stare into the distance.